GETTING BACK ON THE BIKE
This week, I got back on my bicycle for the first time properly since 2016. In December 2016 I came off my road bike on a mini roundabout, resulting in a serious concussion which affected me for many months afterwards. As well as the concussion, I received sob inducing local anaesthetic injections to my face before having the road grit scrubbed from my face with effectively a brillo pad. Oh and 5 stitches in my chin!
The first incremental steps
Since 2016 I have tried cycling with my husband and managed a couple of short local rides, but never without fear and never comfortable going off on my own. A few months ago I took my first solo ride within Bicester where I live. I came back pleased that I had done it but with knuckles almost white from the slippery cycle path surface, where leaves had layered during autumn.
Over the past month, we’ve cycled as a family with my husband taking my daughter on his bike. Neither he nor I trusted me to cycle with our daughter on my bike at this stage, which saddens me. Our weekly mini trips to the ringroad and back have helped build my confidence and got me used to the road surface, setting off and catching my foot in the pedal as well as taking it slowly and taking in what is around me, namely people and staying 2 metres away from them.
Going solo
On Monday evening, I had a strong urge to leave my family behind and take myself off into the countryside alone for a gentle exploratory ride. I found my fears slipped away and my thoughts had been the clearest they had been all day.
On Tuesday evening I did the same. Whilst on the first day I was acutely aware that my husband was a phone call away with a car ready to pick me up, on the second day I was so excited to get out I didn’t think about the need to be potentially rescued. I took great pleasure in exploring various nooks and crannies of the countryside. The sort of roads and dead ends I’d never normally explore when riding with my husband. Being alone was liberating and I was able to take everything at my own pace. Less than fifteen minutes in and I was really feeling the saddle bruising which is so well known by anyone who starts to ride, but I kept going and by the end of the ride I was having such a good time, I barely noticed it.
Wednesday was an unplanned rest day and I enjoyed some quality time with my family.
Today I got the urge to head off first thing in the morning. I instantly worried about energy levels and wondered whether I’d be able to ride so early having not yet eaten. My husband told me to grab something to eat and head straight off, taking something with me in case I needed it. I had a slice of homemade carrot cake and a hemp protein smoothie before heading off. Whilst I noticed my legs felt more lethargic than on the evening rides, I had the energy and was dressed in long sleeved wicking clothing so I wouldn’t feel cold as I headed off before the heat of the day.
Today’s ride was wonderful. I took in so much more of my surroundings and managed to tackle a terrible road surface without panicking. As I rode, I wondered whether I’d be able to make an early morning ride a regular occurrence, and if I couldn’t ride due to other commitments what else could I do to achieve some of the other health benefits. As much as I love evening riding, I’ll need to pick my daughter up from nursery by 6.30pm and my husband is about to go back onto shift work.
Energy level worries
Energy levels have always been a weak point for me. I’ve never eaten the right things at the right time and this has been a huge barrier for me when I have had the urge to get back into exercise. I’ve been so concerned that I’d lose weight when I struggle to maintain weight as it is, and I’ve not had the healthiest relationship with cooking and preparing food due to linking this to the feeling of loneliness. Part of my self awareness journey over the past couple of years has been to improve my relationship with food and cooking, so that it doesn’t hold me back from living a healthier life. I still have a long way to go, but I already feel hopeful that I am making the right kind of progressive change. For the past week and half, I’ve introduced into my morning fruit and vegetable smoothies with added hemp or spirulina for protein. I’ve been having these first thing, often followed by eggs. This simple change has made me feel a lot more ready for the day, and I have no doubt this is helping me feel more nourished and therefore happier to contemplate expending energy.
Incremental progression
By writing this blog, I am hammering home the point to myself that any changes I want to make need to be incremental. Having always considered myself an impatient person, I’ve realised that the things I’m most proud of in life have come about from long term incremental progression, and the only elements which are sustainable are those which are deeply ingrained habits, whereby I feel good by doing them, even if not in the moment.