WHO ARE WE SURROUNDED BY?

This weekend I acted on something really important about who I choose to surround myself with. Those who we surround ourselves with will affect everything about our life. To clarify, I’ve realised this point many times before, but not quite from this angle.

I’ve known to surround myself with positive people, and those who make me feel good, or those who accept me for who I am. I’ve known to surround myself by those who love me unconditionally.

Just because they love me unconditionally does not mean they understand me

To provide a generic example, If the community of people I surround myself by are all heavy drinkers, drug takers and workaholics, to enjoy time with these people on a regular basis, I would find it hard to not partake in similar activities. This can be the same with family. If your family are more interested in spending the entire night on the sofa watching TV or eating takeaways, it is difficult to get the motivation or feel comfortable choosing a different path. It is important to remember though that it is our choice. It may be that you get ridiculed for eating avocado and butternut squash whilst your family, friends or housemates enjoy a greasy fried meal. It may be that you get mocked when you have the occasional chocolate bar, alcoholic drink or total rest day, because the “we thought your body was a temple?” comments are easy to dole out. What is key here is finding other communities who support you and inspire you in the choices you want to make.

This might be those who share your interest in long distance running, meditation, veganism, yoga, entrepreneurship, cooking, gardening, acting or whatever it is you are interested in. It is likely that we don’t always find ourselves directly surrounded by those with exactly the same interests. What can be even harder is when your interests or values have been the same for a number of years, but for some reason you decide it is time for you to discover something new. This is a really crucial time to find the right support network.

Does that mean I can’t still get support from my current community?

Your current community, whether that be family, friends, colleagues or a partner, can still support you in your new interests and ventures even if they don’t share or understand them. I’ve had to realise when to reach out to different parts of my network. An important part of unconditional love is to accept people you surround yourself with for who they are. This can also be in their inability to support you in the way you hoped or to tell you what you want to hear.

My current community don’t fully understand what I’m going through

Although there are many reasons why social media can be negative for us, we are fortunate enough to be able to access supportive networks almost instantly. I’ve been gradually finding new friends and social circles who align more with what I am interested in exploring, but whilst being limited in meeting new people at the moment, I’ve decided to check out a new area for me. Instagram. Today I connected with someone who I’ve never met, but has similar interests and lives nearby. That one simple connection is enough to give me hope that I don’t have to struggle ‘converting’ my current community to understand what I am exploring in order to get encouragement, but I can have both, and give and receive support across different areas of my life without expecting too much of anyone, therefore accepting them for who they are.

Thanks to Leslie Bowman on Unsplash for the photo.