WHAT IS SUCCESS ANYWAY?

How My Interpretation Of Success Has Changed

We spend our entire lives chasing success. How many of us realise that the success we have been striving for isn’t actually what we want?

How many of us fail because we have been trying for something we don’t actually believe in?

What does success mean to you?

Success is different for everyone. We are all unique, and our gender, sexual orientation, race, nationality, individual upbringing, community pressures, traumas, joyful moments, failures and accomplishments affect how we see success.

This is what I thought success would be for me:

  • a beautiful country home with a willow tree in the grounds

  • a holiday home with a beautiful bougainvillea plant

  • a high flying career - resulting in running my own business

  • a nice car (my ‘made it’ car has always been an Audi)

  • a motorbike (I got my full bike licence aged 23)

  • married with 2 children

  • the ability to travel when I wanted

  • financial freedom

Notice how I started with the things I could buy and how I would make money to buy them? Notice I based the number of children on my own upbringing. (I have an older brother - and also two stepbrothers but no-one plans to have step-children).

Something didn’t feel right. I was striving for these, but I was failing. When one looked like it was coming together another would fall away. I was also perpetually unfulfilled. I took some time to reflect on what I really wanted from life and realised I had been focusing on the wrong thing for me.

I now feel I would be successful if I achieve:

  • Health

    - a healthy body and mind which facilitates me to do what I enjoy

  • Happiness

    - through the ability to be grateful, fulfilled and have freedom

  • Kindness

    - both to myself, others and my environment

Where does this leave my previous life goals?

Ironically, by not focusing on the goals dictated by society, upbringing and commercial availability, I feel like I have freedom. The kind of freedom that isn’t available through financial freedom. If everything was taken away from you, don’t you think freedom would be the first thing you’d want back? Oh wait, we’ve all just had a taste of this due to the COVID-19 lockdown.

I now believe that I will be able to live more of a life by striving for health, happiness and kindness.

You never know, I may end up with all my previous goals as a bi-product. If I do great. If I don’t I’m OK with that. They won’t make me happy, healthy or kind.

Photo by Mike Castro Demaria on Unsplash - thanks for the free image. I thought I’d give you a mention.

Jane TarrantComment