EXPLORING HAPPINESS

When considering how one might go about living a happier, healthier and kinder life, I have solidified some important realisations. I will dedicate today’s writing to exploring ‘happiness’.

What I have experienced to be true about happiness

It is my belief that it is not possible to be truly happy in the absence of gratitude. We can experience joy or pleasure or thrill or excitement without gratitude, but not happiness. Although maybe it is the word happiness which is the issue. We do feel what we recognise as ‘happiness’ when we experience joy, pleasure, excitement etc. We feel it so extremely that we wish that life would stand still and we could stay in this moment forever. This in itself is one of the main issues with ‘chasing’ happiness, rather than unveiling the already existing potential for happiness.

Happiness through contentment

Let’s change the word for a moment. Contentment is happiness, but in a less exuberant form. It feels more low key, more subtle, more relaxed, and yes a little less exciting, but although I love a bit of excitement and encourage it, it is not lasting. And thank goodness it isn’t, because excitement is exhausting!

Contentment is the basis for happiness. It is the day to day base line which keeps things feeling on the positive side of the happiness scale. We can’t be content all the time, nor happy, and we wouldn’t want to be because it would take away the appreciation we have for it, but it is a bloody good base line.

One of the mindset areas I have been working on for a number of years is achieving the right base line for myself. This is ever changing and needs to be reviewed, but playing with the different parts of my life, it has been possible to find a certain level which works well for most of the time.

Forever chasing happiness

From experience, I have found that the more we ‘chase’ happiness, the less we feel happy. The less we appreciate the great moments which could bring great joy and excitement, the more importance we put on them and the more we ruin their chances of flourishing. You’ll recognise this if you’ve ever heard yourself or someone else say, “when I have X, I’ll be happy”, or “when X happens, I’ll be happy”.

I’ve realised, like many others before me, that finding gratitude for the here and now, whilst not giving up on the possibility of achieving further progress in the future, allows for happiness without having to chase it. Because chasing, just like excitement is exhausting.

Should we still aim for dreams?

It is not that we should not work towards our dreams, but I can personally vouch for the realisation that the journey towards our dreams are where we can feel the most content, happy, satisfied, accomplished or fulfilled. When we actually get there, we realise that the feeling of getting there isn’t as amazing as we thought it would be and even if it does almost match up, it can’t last. Because life goes on. And staying still in your ‘I’ve made it’ moment will slowly eat away at you, and the accomplishment will start to feel empty.

We may never have previously thought past our first dream, but if and when we get there what can we do? Celebrate it, enjoy it, decide what your next dream is and work towards it whilst taking every moment possible to step back, to realise how far you have come, to realise how much you have and be truly grateful for each and every incremental step. This is where we can experience happiness because we can consistently develop a positive base line to work from.

Thanks to Mike Marrah for the photo from Unsplash.