WHAT GETTING BACK ON THE BIKE MEANS
On 28th May 2020, I wrote about getting back on the bike, after an accident, following months of concussion difficulties, sob inducing local anaesthetic injections to my face, scrubbing grit from my wounds and 5 stitches to seal a whole which burst open on my chin. This accident was back in December 2016 and I was really scared to get back on my bicycle.
My Tiny Terrifying Goal
Sometimes having a small goal can be seen as not much of a feat. We hear of someone doing something epic like training for a triathlon, cycling from Land’s End to John O’Groats or a gruelling cross continent cycle ride. This seems so far from what we deem ourselves capable of and therefore we have utter respect or admiration for those who aspire to it and accomplish it.
I just wanted to be able to cycle with my daughter on my bicycle, whether it be to nursery or on a country ride. That’s it. It should have been easy. Or should it?
Incremental Steps To Achieve A Goal
I’ve already written about my first steps in getting back on the bike, but I wanted to share the journey as a whole. For many people, if you needed to cycle your child to nursery, you’d just buy a seat, fit it, put them in the seat, get on and peddle off. You might take it for a little test ride for a few metres first if you hadn’t been on a bicycle for a while. This wasn’t possible for me. It wasn’t just me who didn’t trust that she’d be safe. My husband also told me he wasn’t comfortable with me taking her on the bike yet.
With each incremental step, I felt my confidence building. First I was able to go on a slow cycle ride just within a mile of the house, then I went into the countryside, ready to phone my husband to pick me up. After a little while I’d ride with my phone but knowing he wasn’t nearby to get me.
After many slow and lengthening cycle rides, I was able to head off with my husband at greater pace. I started to enjoy cycling more than I ever had before, because I was taking it slower and enjoying what was around me. My balance improved, my gear changing improved, my awareness of road surface improved. Eventually I was at a point to try cycling on the mountain bike with wider handles and the seat on the back.
One day, out of the blue, we were cycling back from my grumpa’s house and I suddenly asked if I could try cycling my daughter down the quiet country road we were on. My husband trusted me to try and more importantly I trusted myself so we swapped bikes. I felt a little wobbly at first, but eventually I was able to manoeuvre the bicycle without feeling awkward. I ended up cycling the whole way home.
The next time we went out together, I was able to cycle all the way there and back.
And soon after, I was going off to nursery without even thinking about how I had struggled so much a few months ago.
What’s my message?
Incremental steps are incredibly powerful.
No matter how much you feel like you ‘should’ be able to do such a ‘simple’ thing, we can’t compare ourselves to others who have not been through what we have been through. If we are comparing ourselves to ourselves prior to a trauma, that is even more unkind.
We talk about health - subconsciously meaning physical health. For the majority of us, mental health is far more limiting than any physical issue we might have.
Just because we are confident in one sphere (e.g. work environment) doesn’t mean we are confident in every sphere.
If you hurt yourself be compassionate as to how you will have been mentally affected by that as well as physically.
Many of us will have lost confidence in things we once found easy (especially since COVID-19 lockdown) so go easy on yourself, have a goal and make tiny incremental steps to getting back on track.
It is ok to share how you are feeling and what challenges you are going through. If others understand, they can support you. If you can be open about yourself, you are more likely to be kind to yourself.