AWARENESS OF HABITS
Whilst I used to think we are all aware of our habits, it has become increasingly obvious that my awareness of my own habits sucked! No wonder I struggle to make new positive habits stick. Let me explain what I mean by awareness of habits.
Becoming aware of my habits
Over the past few months I’ve been playing with my habits, motivation and mindset. I’ve had triumphs and I’ve had setbacks, usually surrounding the same habit. What I now know that it is my lack of awareness of my habits and how to build and break them is the issue.
Having recently come across the book Atomic Habits,
I have been able to look back on my recent efforts with better understanding and greater awareness. This book really resonated with me because I have gone about my ‘CAN I DO IT MYSELF’ journey incrementally (hence this blog name and @incrementaljane on Instagram), and this book is all about tiny changes which add up to results. Right up my street, I might say.
Trying to implement my new habit: daily yoga
I knew that habits take time to stick, I also knew that you have to have a reason why you want to change your habits. I just didn’t know all the rest of it!
Having previously struggled to attend more than one yoga class a week, if that, I decided that online could work well for me if I wanted to step it up to a more regular practice. I knew that I often don’t feel in the mood for yoga or any type of exercise, even though I need it, so I started with accountability. I told myself and then I told my husband that I was going to practice yoga every day for 10 days, until the end of the month. See my previous blog on Summer resolutions for the start of this story. I was then going to review it for the next month. I managed 80% of the days.
Over the next few weeks I managed to practice nearly every day, twice a day for about a week, followed by once a day thereafter…until it started to fall away more regularly. I still had the motivation to do so and I was feeling the benefits mentally and physically.
What was the issue with the habit? Why didn’t the habit stick?
Motivation is overrated
I felt my motivation would be enough to keep up my new habit. What I failed to realise was how I paired my motivation for success in the first few days and although motivation did the trick some days, usually it was not the main reason for my yoga practice going ahead.
Disruption to environment
After years of frustration at being unable to keep our dining room tidy, I finally moved the furniture around whilst my husband was out. He came back to find a lounge/diner in our main lounge and a cosy ‘kid free zone’ lounge in our dining room. This environment became my calm space. Somewhere where I could roll out my yoga mat and enjoy a bit of yoga in the glow of the street lamps. I told him I would keep it tidy and it would be a space to retreat. One day I came home to find stuff all over the once calming lounge. Admittedly this was stuff I’d left in other locations. My husband assumed that if he put it in the space I was keeping tidy on a daily basis that it would get put away. It didn’t. It slowly overwhelmed me, raised my anxiety and put me off wanting to get on my mat. There was always something in the way. I tried other locations, but it wasn’t the same. I lost my yoga environment. (The overwhelm and anxiety of stuff is for another blog).
Disruption to my habit cue
I started moving my mat to different locations, and no longer left it out on the floor ready for practice. The fact that my mat was not there as a cue for my habit meant that I had to really motivate myself or remember to go looking for my mat. I also used to keep my diary in full view, where each evening I’d log my daily yoga practice, ticking it off as a small congratulation to myself. When this got put away on a shelf or moved to the dining room, the diary no longer reminded me that I hadn’t get done my yoga.
My yoga habit wasn’t the easiest option
Grateful as I have been that my husband had some time off work on holiday, I started prioritising watching Netflix with him rather than doing my yoga. Don’t get me wrong, I have benefited from this time together too and the content of what we’ve been watching, but it has been a killer for my yoga habit. It meant that yoga was restricted to morning or daytime and not evening like I used to enjoy. When faced with the choice, grabbing a laptop off the side and sitting down for a hour was much easier than getting on the mat. Had I left my laptop in my office, it would have been slightly easier to practice yoga instead. I could have done yoga after Netflix, but with an 18 month old who was going to be awake in 4 hours and up in 7, I really needed the sleep. It was either or on the evening activity, because let’s just say she is not a sleeper like her mum!
Habits shouldn’t have choice
I love a bit of choice, but when it comes to habits, choice is the killer of them. When I practised twice a day, morning and night, it was easier, but I was helped along by environment, cue and motivation. When I dropped my second daily practice, I had a choice of whenever I’d like to practice. This meant it was down to me to ensure I did it each day whenever I felt I wanted to, made time for it or wanted to escape. Had I stuck with, I will practice yoga for 20 mins every night in the lounge directly before going to bed, I’d have been much more likely to continue it.
What I’ve learned about my habits
This particular habit has been an experiment, and a crucial one for me to understand what I need to do to ensure I can create a habit, and not just a phase of something new. When I get to to the point where when I put my daughter down (or my husband goes off to do so), I instantly go to my mat at the next available moment, in a particular room to practice a particular amount of time, without consciously thinking, I’ll have formed my habit fully.
When I go on holiday, get ill or change my routine and environment in any way, I will need to be aware of how this will affect my habits. It may take planning, writing down what I will achieve or ensuring I implement a bit of willpower to get through these moments.
Once back in my usual rhythm it is likely I’ll slip straight back into my habit if it is well ingrained, but my awareness of my habits is what I feel is key to ensuring I don’t slip into unhelpful habits instead.
For a full understanding of how I am going to ensure that my yoga habit sticks in the first place, it is all in the book, Atomic Habits, by James Clear:
P.S. In order to get through this book, I’m tried to implement a new habit of reading at least one chapter a day…once you read the book you’ll realise why this entire sentence is far too vague for me to definitely manage that!
Note: I would have included a link to this book anyway because I think it is utterly life changing, but as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. This does not affect the price you pay, it just helps me out :-)