AS ONE DOOR CLOSES ANOTHER ONE OPENS

It is amazing what we can learn from children

Today, my daughter walked into nursery and didn’t look back. No smile. No wave. No tears. No goodbye. She was just focused on what was ahead of her. It is her fifth day back at nursery since the COVID-19 lockdown and she is in her element. No matter how much she loves me or how much she enjoyed her time with her parents at home, she is able to understand we’ll be there this evening but the day of exploration is ahead of her. I spied on her through the window and she was just standing there visually taking in the room. She hadn’t yet decided what to do or who to go to. She was weighing up her options.

After 3 minutes or so, she started to notice the nursery staff gesturing to her. She snapped back to the real world, beamed a great big smile and got on with her day. I sloped away from the window unseen, feeling strange that although I had expected to feel sad she hadn’t waved goodbye or even looked back, I was hugely grateful and proud that she was living in the way I would hope for her.

Having got to a stage where I am transitioning from breastfeeding, I am now the one standing in the middle of the room, taking in my surroundings and considering my options.

Which door will I open next?

Even just a single nighttime feed affects hormones, hunger, sleepiness and mental state. By letting go of this wonderful gift of a moment, I will be free to explore options I haven’t yet been able to since becoming a parent. As I learn, discuss and grow, I am becoming increasingly excited to get my teeth into something. The timing didn’t feel quite right before and I know that was because I was prioritising my daughter’s needs for that small portion of the day, but by making the opportunity to put her to bed equal between myself and my husband, it means I am able to wonder over and open up a new door of possibility.

Which door will I choose?

P.S. Thanks to Jan Tinneberg for his free photo on Unsplash.